I looked back over an old deviation of mine called Define yourself and I realized, maybe I've changed?. Then I realised only one of my friends took the time to really observe that deviation, to notice the heart I had put into it and you know what THAT really pissed me off. Why it pissed me off is simple, because my friends either showed that they didn't care about me or that they couldn't be bothered for a second to look at something that I had placed the short amount of life that I have into.... heck if I think hard about it I can see that I placed quite a lot of emotion in that deviation.

And so I'll ask again, please could you, whoever you are, give me the joy of commenting and say you will define your self for me... I know it is a lot to ask but I wish to see if maybe there are others who are like me. Once again I'll go first and define myself.

When I think hard about this I realize I am a sad and loathsome creature, I'm a pit of despair with stress being the layer of dirt across the bottom of my life. I have average looks and less then average breasts, I am small and skinny and no I am not an anorexic person. This constant craving I have for ice coffe is often overlaped by a want to see others suffering, to cause deep pain to my friends who do not even notice me on most occasions.

Laugh at me, joke about me... I don't care all I care about is thinking of how much more miserable I can become. I write sad poetry that claws at existence asking why I have to suffer and why I can't be more loved, but really am I making an effort to get what I want? I don't think I am. Sleep often grasps me and takes me to a blank place where I can have as much pain and cruelty as I want to wish upon others, nobody truly understands what goes on in my mind.

My friends believe that they know me but they are wrong, dead wrong, nobody knows me... nobody wants to know me. That nagging voice in your head, that's what I'm like... nobody really sees me and they just barely hear me. Yes I can't take a joke alright, so I'm ultimately flawed in so many ways... I really couldn't care less about what You think of Me.

I am vain, cruel, a deciever and a dream watcher. I read the cards when it is dark and when my friends couldn't possible tell that I am reading for them. Honestly I must be plagued by only bad dreams because my dream catcher does it's job but yet I have no good dreams.

Poor soul I thank you for reading this, if indeed you have read it. I am very sorry to plague you with this knowledge of me that is only just scrating the skin of the truth, and for making you deal with my issues, my problems. Sorry yet again, but also thank you... you have relieved my pain.